Grieving for Walsh
by withgirl
Summary: Just a one-shot exploring how Emma would should have reacted to her boyfriend's death in 3b, with a SwanQueen ending of course XD. [Regina x Emma pairing] [Rating due to mild language] also there's a little bit of Hook bashing, but it's not overly a part of it.
**A/N Hey guys, this is inspired by a post on Tumblr by Lana-Lana-b0-bana :)**

 **The dialogue from the first scene is from 3b, so it belongs to the writers...**

"This is where he was taken," Robin breathed as he led the two Charmings and Captain Hook to the town line.

Emma blew out a breath and watched him walk forward, though she was more than sympathetic to his plight, there was also the issue that she had more important things to deal with…or at least personal issues. However, she just kept telling herself that she was the saviour, which meant that she had no right to say no when someone needed help, especially when someone in town was taken by a monster.

"I wouldn't step over that line if I were you," she called out when she realised that she had allowed herself to slip into her own thoughts for a moment.

"You think he was carried away because he attempted to cross that line?" the blond man asked with a furrowed brow.

"Makes sense…the dwarves were out checking the line to see if anyone was coming or going when they disappeared…what exactly took Little John?" David replied, somehow completely ignorant to how tense his daughter looked in this moment.

"We didn't get a good look…some manner of beast with wings," the thief clarified, obviously thinking deeply about what he had seen.

"That sounds a lot like the…" the sheriff began, trying to think of the right word, before she decided that there could be only one, "…monster that attacked me in New York."

"The monster you were gonna marry?" Hook leered with a smirk on his face and Emma felt a clench in her stomach that she couldn't quite identify, though she was sure that there was a hint of anger in the mix.

"You were going to marry someone?" Charming blanched, inspecting the blonde almost critically as he thought through the implications. Somehow he was having some trouble coming to the terms with the fact that a year had passed for Emma and he felt as though it had only been one day since Peter Pan had attempted to cast his curse. Now he was finding out that she had experienced some rather significant changes and if the clench of her jaw meant anything, the whole thing was a bigger deal than she was trying to let on. The blond tilted his head in sympathy, but before he could say anything, Hook chuckled slightly as he replied:

"Did you miss the part where I said monster?"

Emma managed to stop herself from letting out a huff. She was about to make a retort, though she knew there would be no point. No matter how many good memories she had of Walsh, he was a creature who had made it a point to try and keep her away from her family. Plus, there was the fact that Henry didn't seem to like him, he barely even questioned what happened to him when they left the city to come back to Storybrooke. She tried to blink covertly as tears began to prick at her eyes and she silently berated herself for feeling this way. Thankfully, though, before either Hook or Charming could say anything, Robin noticed the look on her face and decided that a slight change of topic was in order.

"We need to find Little John," announced the thief and he saw a look of relief overcome the saviour's face.

"It may lead us to everyone else who's gone missing…David take him and the rest of his…" the blonde began, only to trail off.

"Merry Men," Robin supplied and Emma just blew out a breath and nodded before she continued:

"Right…them…and run a search grid and see if you can find any sign of a missing guy."

David nodded his agreement before he furrowed his brow when he realised that there was something missing from the plan, though it seemed that Hook had noticed before he did.

"Are you not joining us, Swan?

The saviour couldn't hide the death glare that she shot his way, but she quickly came up with an excuse:

"Not yet, Regina was right, we're not going to find out who was behind this curse by talking to people one by one."

"What are you going to do?" David asked, looking confusedly between his daughter and the pirate, he could tell there was something going on that he couldn't quite understand.

"I'm going to talk to everybody."

* * *

Regina let out a deep breath and pulled over as her phone began ringing out.

She was slightly relieved that she had already reached her destination before the incessant noise had started, but she was instantly annoyed when she saw who it was.

"What is it, Charming?" she sighed, not willing to admit that she was currently in the midst of doing something that she probably wouldn't admit to anyone. Opening her car door, she slipped out and began walking towards where Henry's Castle once stood. Though she hadn't tried to hide how hurt she was when Henry didn't remember her, she was determined that no one would find out that she had come here simply to feel closer to the boy who had no memories of her. It was completely irrational and didn't help with their curse issue in any way, but it was cathartic and she needed it more than she was willing to admit to herself.

"Have you and Emma come up with a plan yet?" he asked, sounding slightly worried.

The mayor furrowed her brow and tilted her head before she remembered that the man on the other end of the line couldn't see her, "I haven't seen Miss Swan since she went off to meet you and Hook…"

Charming was silent for a moment, obviously he was working through the implications of what this meant, before he said, "I haven't seen her since she said she was going to arrange a meeting with the entire town…I assumed that she was going to talk with you about her plans, but that was two hours ago…"

"So you don't know where she is?" Regina sighed, she felt a slight twinge in her stomach at the thought that the saviour could have been one of those who had disappeared. Since Neverland she had known that she felt something for the blonde, but she hadn't really had the opportunity to come to terms with it.

It felt as if no time had passed since she had sent her son and his other mother off to their new life, which only made it all hurt more. Henry seemed perfectly happy with his new memories and she wasn't convinced that Emma fully wanted to be here. However, she could understand, she was sure that she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to forget every complication in her life. Though if it meant giving up Henry, or secretly Emma, she knew that she would much rather suffer for as long as it took to get her happy ending, which she was beginning to convince herself would never happen.

"She said that she was going to talk to you…" Charming defended, before he trailed off and thought back through their conversation, "well I guess she more implied it…but still…"

"Your powers of perception are clearly not what you think they are, deputy," the brunette said through gritted teeth, feeling her stomach clench in fear as she thought through all of the possibilities, which included the fact that they had no idea who the new villain was. A part of her mind was telling her that there was a chance that they would never find out, which could mean that they would never find out what happened to the sheriff. However, she mentally berated herself and tried to tell herself that they were not at that stage yet, it had been a maximum of two hours since she had seen her, it was far too early to be worried. She was sure that she wouldn't be before Neverland.

Charming sighed deeply on the other side of the phone and Regina could tell that he had probably ran his hand across his face in frustration.

Regina was about to tell him that she would handle this situation, assuming there was one, before she heard the distinct sound of sniffling.

Looking up, she felt complete surprise at what she was met with.

Her decision to come out here and think was not purely because of the connection to Henry. Since the Castle had been taken down, there was no reason that there would be anyone else there. Which was why she was shocked to see the Sheriff of Storybrooke sat on the ground in her face buried in her knees and her shoulders shaking as she silently cried.

"Regina?" David asked insistently.

Said woman shook her head, remembering that she still had her phone clutched to her face, "I'll find her," she said, leaving no room for argument as she hung up.

Emma's shoulders stopped moving and she slowly looked up at the sound of the three words.

Tears stained her face and her eyes were puffy. The saviour swallowed hard and then took a few deep breaths while trying to come up with a plausible explanation as to why she was there crying. However, nothing came to mind other than the fact that she was weirdly glad that it had been Regina to find her rather than her parents, or worse still, Hook.

"Regina…" she said in a hoarse voice, shifting to stand up, but she stopped when the older woman held up her hand.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, before the brunette said awkwardly, "I'll leave you alone…but you should probably know that your parents are worried…"

Emma nodded gratefully and Regina slowly turned on her heels.

The blonde was all set on letting her leave, before she changed her mind in a split second as she jumped to her feet and ran over to grab the other woman's arm.

The brunette felt slight relief, but she also felt worry at the same time, she didn't really see herself as the best person to help with emotions after all.

Nevertheless, she turned around and offered a sympathetic look as best she could.

"I…don't want to talk to my parents…" the blonde admitted in a small voice.

The other woman nodded her understanding, but didn't move to say anything else. She somehow couldn't imagine anything that would have made the saviour cry, she always seemed so strong, but then again, she doubted that the blonde could have guessed the number of times the former Evil Queen had cried since the curse had broken.

They fell back into silence and after a full thirty seconds, Emma realised that she was still clutching the brunette's arm rather tightly. She visibly blushed and brought her hand away slowly, not so secretly savouring the memory of how it had felt to touch her.

The blonde swallowed hard, and brought up her hands to wipe her face.

Finally, though, she decided that it was too late. She knew that Regina wasn't the type to pry, which made her somehow want to tell her everything far more for some reason.

"…is there any way that…I can…"

Regina tilted her head, she considered for a moment how odd it was that she knew exactly what the blonde meant, but when she thought about it, she realised that it probably happened between the two of them more than she thought it did.

"Would you like a glass of apple cider?" she offered, and Emma allowed herself to smile slightly when it occurred to her that the brunette was more offering for her to come over to her home rather then the offer of alcohol, though that was something she wouldn't say no to.

Ten minutes later, Emma found herself being handed a tumbler of spiced apple cider, after Regina had turned her back to allow the blonde to wipe her face.

The older woman took a seat on the couch, making a point of sitting far away as possible, no matter how much she wanted to hug the blonde.

Emma took a couple gulps of her drink, a warm feeling spreading through her chest, though she wasn't sure how much of it had to do with the alcohol.

"Walsh," the blonde finally said by way of breaking the silence.

Regina furrowed her brow and considered whether she knew who that was, but she quickly decided that she wasn't even sure that it was a name, so after taking another sip of her drink and placing it on the coffee table, she asked, "what?"

"The reason I was crying…" Emma explained, staring intently into her glass.

The brunette nodded and asked softly, "who is Walsh, Emma?"

The saviour took a deep breath and downed the rest of her drink before she placed it down and made eye contact with the other woman, "he was the monster I was going to marry."

Regina only felt her confusion build and she just looked at the other woman expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

"He was my boyfriend and he asked me to marry him…but then Hook gave me the potion to get my memories back…when I went to tell him that I was going on a 'trip', he turned into this monkey thing and tried to kill me…"

The mayor took a moment to take this in, but she had heard stranger things in her life, so it didn't take long for her to move past her shock.

"And…you don't understand why it is you still love him?"

Emma felt tears threaten to fall again, she knew that Regina would understand, but that didn't make it mean any less to her in that moment.

"I'm not sure that I loved him…I mean I didn't really know him…I guess…but I was going marry him you know? And Hook just made this comment at the town line that pissed me off," she finally exploded. "He just had to go and tell David that I was going to marry 'a monster'! I would have been perfectly fine just repressing it like I always do and no one would ever have to know about it. But David is obviously going to tell Mary Margaret and then it's going to become this whole thing…I know they love me, but there is no way that I can just silently move on without them constantly asking me how I feel, but they won't realise that all they're doing is reminding me that everyone I love always fucking dies!"

The blonde took a few deep breaths, and noticed that her cheeks were wet.

She quickly looked down and shook her head, trying to casually wipe her face, "sorry," she mumbled.

Regina just stared at her for a moment, but the shock quickly fell away. It was more than a little strange that the saviour was here ranting to her, but she secretly noted that she had admitted that it was Hook who had upset her. Even if she would always deny it, she had been more than jealous of the amount of time that the blonde had spent with the pirate in Neverland, so it felt rather good to discover that she wasn't as fond of him as it would have appeared.

Silenced reigned in the room for over a minute and Emma looked over cautiously to the other woman. She was convinced that she had crossed the line, the two of them had been enemies not long ago and she wasn't really sure what she could call her relationship with the beautiful brunette. She thought about friend, but that didn't seem right and co-parent just sounded too detached, so she had just settled on crush. As soon as she gotten her memories back, she had somehow felt as if her whole relationship with Walsh had been a betrayal. She had wanted to tell the former Evil Queen about her feelings, but telling her before Pan's curse was about to hit would have been cruel considering that the woman was going to retain her memories. She would have either spent the rest of her life knowing that her feelings were reciprocated and not have the opportunity to do anything about them or Regina could have told her that she didn't return her feelings and it would have made her departure all that more heart wrenching. It was for that reason that she had decided that there was no reason to tell her. Which made returning to Storybrooke all that more difficult after she had resigned herself to never getting the chance to be with the woman that she was fairly certain would be her True Love if they were ever given the chance to be together.

The blonde swallowed hard when she saw an unreadable expression on the mayor's face and shot her a quick smile as she pushed herself off of the couch.

"I'm really sorry, Regina…I really shouldn't have unloaded all of my crap on you, you have your own things to deal with right now. I mean, your son not remembering you is way worse than me having my feelings hurt by an idiotic pira…"

The sheriff stopped talking when Regina rose from the couch and placed her hand on the taller woman's arm. Her touch was shockingly soft and Emma found a strangely warm feeling spreading throughout her body.

"It's okay, Emma," the brunette said softly, smiling slightly in reassurance.

The blonde instantly relaxed and let out a breath of relief, but she still felt a slight twinge of doubt in her mind, "you really don't have to hear about my problems, Regina…"

The other woman tilted her head and let out a somewhat silent sigh as she considered her next move. She looked over Emma's vulnerable expression and she instantly knew that she wouldn't be willing to share all of this information with her if their relationship was still what it was before the missing year. Though she wasn't completely sure, she was fairly certain that her feelings were returned since she knew that Emma would be the only person whom she would ever want to talk to about her feelings.

"I can understand why you are hesitant to talk to your parents about this. They would pry and constantly bring up the subject. If we're as alike as I believe we are…I think that you would much rather that someone just listens…" Regina replied, though it was rather awkward considering her lack of experience discussing emotions, but it was obvious that she was trying her best.

They stayed as they were for a second and the blonde of the pair noticed just how close they were standing to one another and she took in a couple breaths to steel herself when it became clear what was about to happen.

"The moment I got my memories back, I realised that I didn't actually love him…I remembered who I actually wanted to be with and I guess being here again just brought all of it back…"

Regina tilted her head and looked at the other woman expectantly, though she had a feeling that she knew what she meant.

"What I'm saying is that…I guess it isn't actually Walsh that I was crying about…well it was but…" Emma continued quickly before she blew out a breath of frustration, "I really don't know how to explain it…"

The older woman shifted closer with a small smile on her face and she brought up her other arm to touch the blonde's other arm.

"With your memories gone, you loved Walsh, but with your memories back you remember who it is that your affections truly lie with."

Emma let out a little laugh and also shifted closer, "has anyone ever told you that you should be a therapist?"

The brunette shook her head and replied, "I think I may be the most unqualified person in town to discuss feelings."

"Well you're doing pretty good," the saviour said as she tentatively brought her hands onto her waist and she noted just how well the pair of them seemed to fit together.

"Well," Regina corrected.

"How did you go from being helpful, to correcting my grammar?" Emma sighed in faux frustration.

The brunette smirked and replied, "I'm sorry, Miss Swan."

The sheriff rolled her eyes, she was about to lean forward, but hesitated and said uncertainly, "you do know that I was talking about you right? I know 'friends' would exactly be standing here like we are, but I don't want to be fireballed for trying to kiss you…"

Regina rolled her eyes and leaned forward to capture the other woman's lips in her own.

Emma took a moment to respond, as if she couldn't believe that she had gone from crying alone to this, but she quickly began moving her lips against the brunette's.

They stayed like this for about ten seconds before Regina pulled away, though not completely. The blonde looked hurt that it was over so quickly, but the mayor gave her a reassuring smile to tell her that the kiss was as good as she thought it was.

"Walsh may have turned out to be a monster, but you still loved him on some level. We both know that you shouldn't jump straight into another serious relationship."

Emma looked down but nodded her agreement, she knew that this was what she wanted, but she also had thought that Walsh was what she wanted a couple of days ago, so she was sure that taking things too fast would just make her start doubting herself.

"Okay…" she sighed.

Regina smiled sadly when she realised how the blonde was taking this and she brought up her hand to lift her face back up so she got eye contact back.

"I think we should focus on discovering who cast this new curse before we start anything. Once this crisis is over and Henry has his memories back, one of us should ask the other on a date."

Emma furrowed her brow for a moment, before a smile spread across her face, "so you're saying that you would say yes, because that really takes the pressure off, you know?"

The brunette let out a little laugh and leaned forward to steal another peck before she extracted herself from the saviour's embrace.

"Your father mentioned that you had some kind of plan," Regina said to bring the other woman out of her daze.

Emma shook her head in an attempt to clear it.

She nodded and began explaining her plan, after all, the sooner they found out who cast the curse, the sooner she could ask the woman she loved on their first of many dates.

 **A/N Hope you guys enjoyed, reviews would be much appreciated XD**

 **As always I need to thank my beta QueenApples and PerditusFic for answering my random questions lol**


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